Every day same sushi different customers. A tall dark-haired woman just ordered a double portion of spicy tuna rolls to go. I wouldn’t normally approach a customer like this. My hands are getting clammy “excuse me, could I get your number?”. She stares blankly a smile creeping in the corner of her mouth. “That’s sweet but I have a boyfriend,” she leaves with her food for two.

Hours pass, the day never seems as bright as it did with her. I receive a text from a friend inviting me out, we haven’t talked in years. She says it’ll be nice to see me while she’s in town. I wouldn’t normally go out on short notice. She wants to meet me at eight at the bar we used to drink in. I put on my good shirt and my clean jeans. “It’s been so long how have you been,” we’re not kids anymore when she smiles. It’s all I can see. Night presses into the next morning while we walk around the park, “I feel like I’m watching my life pass in front of me,” she stares blankly her smile creeps in. “I know what you mean my job bores me half to death”. It’s hard to be heard when you didn’t mean to say it out loud, usually. I say “how long are you in town?”, “I leave tomorrow”.

She came back into my life and she has stolen my sleep. The only place I found peace was in my bed between the hours I work.  As the hours pass every night the temptation to reach out haunts me. There’s no point in bothering her so late at night, hundreds of miles away. Work torments me in its passiveness. My boss yells at my tardiness. He has no clue what I’m going through. She stole my peace, I need to get it back.

I call her “hey, what you up to?”, “Hey look it’s not a good time can a call you back in a bit,” the call ends she sounded upset. What’s upsetting her peace? I wait patiently all evening until the morning comes. She never called back; did I disturb her peace. I should leave her be, my phone rings it never does that. “Hello,” like an angel’s chorus she steadies my breath. “How have you been? Feels like it’s been weeks,” she laughs at my words, why are they funny? “It has been weeks, too long I say, why don’t you come down for a weekend?” she says. I wouldn’t normally even consider taking any time off. I think I paused too long “that would be great”.

“Don’t worry about booking a hotel or anything, one of my roommates just picked up and left the other day so you can stay in her old room.”

“I’ll ask my boss for some time off”.

“Good, well give me a text when you know. I’ll link you to the coach services I use they have the best prices; trust me I must have cross-checked every agency. They should make that a website don’t you think?” she jests.

“Yeah, that would be useful”.

“Right? You’re not a secret coder, are you? Wanna do business with me we could make a million pounds of that idea alone”.

“I’m not but I would, I’ll text you when I know”.

“Make sure you do I don’t want to lose any sleep waiting for your message,” I clench my phone and hang up; I don’t want to ruin her peace.

She probably didn’t wait for my message like I did while waiting for my bosses reply. I’ll make sure to catch him at the beginning of my shift. I’m early today for the first time in weeks. The bar is pretty empty before lunch only two or three groups. “Hey is he in? I want to ask him something”. I ask the seventeen-year-old. I’m pretty sure he comes in high so I point towards the back office; the kid nods gormlessly. I knock twice on the back-offices’ door and a booming “Come in!” shakes the walls. He was often shouty, no way around it. I enter with purpose. The room has been neatly organised, a perfectionist down to the dusted blinds that look out onto the ally. “I got your text, you know how short-staffed we’ll be without you this weekend,” he said chipping at my peace. “I never ask for time off,” I ask trying to remain stern for her. “Look I work six days a week, I’ve never taken a day off. I’ve burnt myself out. I need this,” I look into his eyes for the first time. Fire, they’re like fire, his face is starting to match their shade. “You’re an ungrateful bastard I’ve given you this job for three years! You’ll treat me like this? I tell you I need you and you still won’t stay? Well fine take your weekend off but don’t you come back here, you’re fired, get out of my face!”

“My bus gets in this Friday at 5pm,” I was going to text but this felt right.

“Well, hello to you too. Right, well I’ll come down to the bus station and meet you. While we’re in town we can get some food, maybe some drinks?” my smile doesn’t fade while she talks.

“Anything but sushi,” I jest. I don’t normally do that. I hear some laughs and a “see you soon,” before she hangs up. I get a good night sleep. I feel at peace in the turbulence.